Hurting

 May 26, 2020

Hurting

“How can a person feel good for making someone else feel bad? I do not understand.”
― Charlena E. Jackson, Teachers Just Don't Understand Bullying Hurts

 

I think the root of understanding lies in the realization that our own actions and words can have power beyond what we expect.

 

I have to realize, that bullying is more a prevalent action in our daily lives than we might think. Whenever one person assumes or interjects an opinion into any dialogue without the opportunity to allow and encourage feedback or opposition, that is bullying.

 

I’ve had to internalize this to a degree that I do not like to admit. I’ve said things on social media that hurt others. While I was “enjoying” a few, brief moments of personal griping thinking that my thoughts were universally agreeable, I was foolishly mistaken. But that is how it is with everyone. I have worked on being mindful, offering words of apology to those who alerted me, and taking time to search through my understanding of this topic.

 

What about all of us in day-to-day talk, day-to-day behavior and day-to-day advocacy? As a citizen of our beloved USA, we are all taught of the inalienable right to free/self expression. But the inalienable rights which we are afforded by our national covenant do not go to the length of teaching us manners, to put it simply. Nor does this covenant teach us that our first thought is not always the most refined use of expression. And let me offer you- NOT speaking or expressing ourselves is also not a refined use of expression either.

 

So how can we remain true to our feelings or teachings or sense of morality or desire to affect change or wield influence without degrading others? It’s do-able with our intention. 2 things are operating, 2 of many, that may help us understand. The first is that a strong comment needs to be prayed over and it needs background expressed alongside it, not just a stand alone phrase. And secondly, we need a true caring for the listener to whom your comment will eventually rest upon. This second thing seems obvious, but do I really care about others? (Maybe that needs to be our first prayer of the day!)

 

Prayer is so important. I know some of us say we don’t know how to pray and if that is so, contact me and I’ll teach a “class” on how to pray (please do ask, many of you). Prayer is an honest share with your Almighty, one which is accompanied with a request for humility in our thinking.

 

The quote above was talking about people purposefully being hurtful. If that is what someone is really doing, the discussion is endless and painful.

 

Trying to be care-full; Wanting to be gracious,

 

Rev. Ken