Listening

 April 29, 2020

Listening

“Listen to God with a broken heart. He is not only the doctor who mends it, but also the father who wipes away the tears.”
― Criss Jami

 

I had to read this quote a couple times before I realized that it stated “listen” not “talk to God” with a broken heart. It’s a grand distinction. Listening, I think, is a skill worth improving. I think I’m a pretty good listener- I grew up the youngest of 4 kids and the only boy in my family. I was forced to be a good listener. And in that training, I learned that humans don’t always say what they believe they are communicating- there are a great many moment of assumption injected into statements.

 

I would like personally to develop a stronger ability of listening to God, however. In those times when I think God is actually speaking to me (and it isn’t a bunch of thoughts I’ve made up for my own purposes) the words are often brief, short, or concise. This bothers me because I want to say- “But!” I want God to tell me the words I want to hear- “There, there Ken I’ll take care of this and your beloved will soon be in your arms!” (This in my teen years, my heart being broken from unrequited love.)

 

We are in a hurry to understand, or, in a hurry to refute, or, we want to believe that our listener is completely in agreement with us. Perhaps listening to God- we need to accept that the reply is most often absolute and unchanging. God is God- we are not. We cannot tell God what is better for us, because then God, would not be God.

 

I want, and I want for you as well, to accept that each broken heart, each “no”, each event that leaves us disappointed is one step closer to what God has in store for us. While I fight an answer given to me that I do not like, I am wasting time that God has reserved for wiping away my tears.

 

It’ll all be taken care of,

Certainly not in the way I would choose,

but in a way that had to be.

That, is an undeniable factor in the existence we all live.

 

Precious Lord, take my hand

Lead me on, let me stand

I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm worn

Through the storm, through the night

Lead me on to the light

 

I love you, Ken